Is the second Civil War still a go? I only have it penciled in...need confirmation from the Deep State. #secondcivilwar pic.twitter.com/zzOsEa2WaA— ML Swift (@mlswift1) July 3, 2018
Dearest Martha,— Lucky Dog Hot Sauce (@luckydoghot) July 3, 2018
I write in distress. En route to #SecondCivilWar I’ve stubbed my toe.
While not terminal, my eyes watered & an entire battalion of redhats slowly descend upon me, ravenously clamoring to slake their thirst with my liberal tears.
I fear I am done for
Questions re: the #SecondCivilWar:— stone biscuit (@igneousscone) July 3, 2018
What is the dress code? Is someone already bringing cloth napkins? Are +1s allowed? Will there at any point be a drum circle, yoga class, or mimosa bar?
Why wasn't I invited? I'm sorry I let my NPR donation lapse.
I’m going to have to pass on the #SecondCivilWar. I know it’s July but I’m still busy fighting the war on Christmas.— Michelle (@oh_shell_yeah) July 3, 2018
My Dearest,— Justin G. (@ResistNW) July 4, 2018
traveling down the Tallahassee trail my platoon came upon a piles of smashed Keurig coffee machines and burned Harley bikes. The enemy must be in the area.
Pray for me for we assault Bowling Green in the morning with Gen. Fredrick Douglass.
Dear friends, I have been drafted into the 1st Military Grammar Police Company at Fort AP (Style Guide) Hill. I need not tell you our mission is dire & most of us expect to be past tense by the morning Tweet storm. When you gaze upon a semicolon... think of me. #SecondCivilWar— Dave (@webmonkeydave) July 4, 2018
Dearest,— Katiedid 🌊 (@IrishNorsewoman) July 3, 2018
It is w/ a heavy heart that I must tell you that the flip flops you gave me have let me down. We were caught up in the battle of Covfefe Junction & they gave me a terrible blister on my toe.
I fear for the worst. Pls send wine & a pair of socks. #SecondCivilWar
Dearest Anjennete,— Darian Kovach (@dariankovach) July 3, 2018
The #SecondCivilWar goes poorly. There are no comic books, and Lenny forgot to bring the chips and salsa. I'm starting to think I should have brought my own iPhone charger. We must retreat or all is lost, but Uber is charging surge fees.#secondcivilwarletters
My love,— Remy Carreiro (@Remy_Anne) July 4, 2018
Your letter was a welcome respite from this arduous battle. I've faced horrors beyond my worst nightmares. General Soros has yet to reimburse me and my rosé supplies are running low. Yet still, I soldier on, in hopes of one day becoming a podcast host.#SecondCivilWar
My darling husband,— Maire Quilter (@Olpatchedquilt) July 4, 2018
I was sorely wounded in desperate fighting to retake our Starbucks, and unable to finish my Grande Iced Sugar-Free Vanilla Latte w/Soy Milk. Do not mourn for me my love. I grabbed a GF pastry as I fell. Kiss the cats for me. #SecondCivilWar
Dear Mother— Robert Burroughs (@rwburroughs) July 4, 2018
We have established a field hospital at the local craft brewery. Lucky they had just put a delightfull summer pilsner on tap and the food truck is provisioned enough for a week. Nothing now but to wait for the wounded to arrive via Uber.#SecondCivilWar
I hope Captain America and Iron Man are on the same side this time. #SecondCivilWar— Robert Byrd (@Robert_Byrd96) July 4, 2018
I never thought I’d thank @infowars (or that toenail Alex Jones)for anything, but holy smokes these #secondcivilwar tweets are reminding me what makes America great again.— April Eliza (@aprilelizaTX) July 3, 2018
I love you, Americans on Twitter