The CWAL Rubber Room
"I don't have the FTL soundtrack."
HQPost a New MessageReturn to The CWAL Rubber RoomFAQ

[LINK] The Second Civil War hashtag on Twitter is especially hilarious. Pro Tip to Alex Jones: never pick a date for your scary event. You risk the same mistake Christian end-of-the-world predictors make so often, when they find out that the day after the end date has come a little too inconveniently.
Posted by Tssha, on July 4, 12018 at 01:30:08:

Is the second Civil War still a go? I only have it penciled in...need confirmation from the Deep State. #secondcivilwar

— ML Swift (@mlswift1) July 3, 2018

Dearest Martha,

I write in distress. En route to #SecondCivilWar I’ve stubbed my toe.

While not terminal, my eyes watered & an entire battalion of redhats slowly descend upon me, ravenously clamoring to slake their thirst with my liberal tears.

I fear I am done for

~Lucky Dog

— Lucky Dog Hot Sauce (@luckydoghot) July 3, 2018

Questions re: the #SecondCivilWar:
What is the dress code? Is someone already bringing cloth napkins? Are +1s allowed? Will there at any point be a drum circle, yoga class, or mimosa bar?

Why wasn't I invited? I'm sorry I let my NPR donation lapse.

— stone biscuit (@igneousscone) July 3, 2018

I’m going to have to pass on the #SecondCivilWar. I know it’s July but I’m still busy fighting the war on Christmas.

— Michelle (@oh_shell_yeah) July 3, 2018

My Dearest,

traveling down the Tallahassee trail my platoon came upon a piles of smashed Keurig coffee machines and burned Harley bikes. The enemy must be in the area.

Pray for me for we assault Bowling Green in the morning with Gen. Fredrick Douglass.


— Justin G. (@ResistNW) July 4, 2018

Dear friends, I have been drafted into the 1st Military Grammar Police Company at Fort AP (Style Guide) Hill. I need not tell you our mission is dire & most of us expect to be past tense by the morning Tweet storm. When you gaze upon a semicolon... think of me. #SecondCivilWar

— Dave (@webmonkeydave) July 4, 2018

It is w/ a heavy heart that I must tell you that the flip flops you gave me have let me down. We were caught up in the battle of Covfefe Junction & they gave me a terrible blister on my toe.
I fear for the worst. Pls send wine & a pair of socks. #SecondCivilWar

— Katiedid 🌊 (@IrishNorsewoman) July 3, 2018

Dearest Anjennete,

The #SecondCivilWar goes poorly. There are no comic books, and Lenny forgot to bring the chips and salsa. I'm starting to think I should have brought my own iPhone charger. We must retreat or all is lost, but Uber is charging surge fees.#secondcivilwarletters

— Darian Kovach (@dariankovach) July 3, 2018

My love,

Your letter was a welcome respite from this arduous battle. I've faced horrors beyond my worst nightmares. General Soros has yet to reimburse me and my rosé supplies are running low. Yet still, I soldier on, in hopes of one day becoming a podcast host.#SecondCivilWar

— Remy Carreiro (@Remy_Anne) July 4, 2018

My darling husband,

I was sorely wounded in desperate fighting to retake our Starbucks, and unable to finish my Grande Iced Sugar-Free Vanilla Latte w/Soy Milk. Do not mourn for me my love. I grabbed a GF pastry as I fell. Kiss the cats for me. #SecondCivilWar

— Maire Quilter (@Olpatchedquilt) July 4, 2018

Dear Mother

We have established a field hospital at the local craft brewery. Lucky they had just put a delightfull summer pilsner on tap and the food truck is provisioned enough for a week. Nothing now but to wait for the wounded to arrive via Uber.#SecondCivilWar

— Robert Burroughs (@rwburroughs) July 4, 2018

I hope Captain America and Iron Man are on the same side this time. #SecondCivilWar

— Robert Byrd (@Robert_Byrd96) July 4, 2018

I never thought I’d thank @infowars (or that toenail Alex Jones)for anything, but holy smokes these #secondcivilwar tweets are reminding me what makes America great again.
I love you, Americans on Twitter

— April Eliza (@aprilelizaTX) July 3, 2018

...also, what's the deal with the Taco Trucks?