The CWAL Rubber Room
"Basically I am saying that Metzen had an idea so stupid that it resonated out through the universe and turned him into a boneless mass of flesh that Blizzard keeps in a kiddie pool, and disgraced executives are placed on his Moistening Crew. All he can do is type out flabby dialogue and burble 'FUCK YEAHHH!' while giving himself high fives with wet, pallid pseudopodia he dedicates to that purpose." - Lothos
"Some families that immigrated to the United States in 19th century had to leave important documentation behind, like the family bible they(my great-great-grandparents) buried outside of Prague(sometime between 1871 and 1873) before leaving Bohemia because it wasn't safe to just go traveling around with it due to it being written in yiddish."
"Uh, if it was written in Yiddish, it probably isn't a Bible, it's a Torah."
"Whatever, they always called it 'a bible' or 'a yiddish Bible.'"
*represses urge to smash head against a solid object*
And thus I learn that I probably have a whole bunch of recent Jewish Ancestry. As well as making the holocaust a whole lot more relevant to family history given that a fair bit of "the family" remained behind in Bohemia. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
/queue secret Jew jokes aimed towards me.
OTOH, that now makes two family lines with screwed up (by outside factors) histories that I've learned about this year. (My mother's side gets to claim Joseph Smith Jr and his brothers as cousins, through his mother. Of course, I knew about their being around for Missouri and Nauvoo, I just didn't think they were around for New York and Ohio as well...)
At this point it's almost a challenge to see if any other branches of the family had ways to get shit upon by others.
Oh, and the "smash the sugar guards" guy? His eldest grandchild married (and probably eloped with, based on the marriage document) my great-granduncle. His next-eldest grand-daughter then married my great-grandfather a few years later. (By all indications, his family was Roman-Catholic prior to immigrating to the US in the 1860's; I bet those family get-togethers were fun times for at least a few years.)
As to "The family bible" to our knowledge, nobody ever went back to retrieve it, so it's possibly still there for all we know, where-ever "there" is. Or maybe some guy named Kafka crossed paths with it while in Prague.... And then I see he's a Bohemian Jew as well, damn, that joke attempt fails. Well, unless the book in question wasn't actually written in yiddish.