The CWAL Rubber Room
"Dark Chrono does not tap dance."
So what is it to accurately portray a female, or a black man, or a lesbian?
I guess I'm leaning nurture on this.
Geordi La Forge on TNG is black, but it's completely meaningless in the setting, because his character is so divorced from Earth history. Sisko is black, and it was more significant, but only because of the episodes with a connection to Earth history.
The only way to accurately portray "the black experience" is to connect it to our own society.
Likewise, maybe the way to portray a person with "female" personality traits is to let our own social norms bleed over into the fiction.
The way females in Game of Thrones act is satisfying to us because of our cultural expectations, I think, when it's actually pretty strange from such a patriarchal world.
Not saying that's bad. If we can't relate to what we are reading, it's hard to care.